My first year working for a large church in Arlington, Virginia, my husband and I ate Christmas lunch off the rollers at a 7-Eleven. Tradition dictated that the newest priest on staff lead the Christmas morning service and I had started working at the church that November. My first Christmas celebrated outside of my home…
Tag: loss
The First Year
Christian communities who follow the church calendar celebrated All Saints Sunday on November 5. On that day they remember loved ones who have died in the past year, sometimes by name during the service, and give thanks for all of the saints who have gone before us. We also step into a series of Sundays…
Without Being Angry
I have no pithy or poignant start to this reflection. I tried to manufacture one but they all felt empty and forced. How to begin an essay that lets the world know I’ve gotten a divorce? No matter how I begin, once “divorce” appears on the screen, there won’t be attention for much else. Among…
Tears and strength
I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m sorry I can’t hold my tears. They just seem to come out of me and I have no control over them. I’m sorry. Do you have any tissues? I’m sorry I’m crying. I know I should be over this by now. I’m sorry. Women tend to…
For Rosemary
These are the notes for the sermon I preached today at the funeral of a most beloved friend. May we all aspire to embrace a mere fraction of the gusto for living that she had…and not be afraid of making the mistakes that are absolutely inevitable. Rosemary Dodd’s favorite story to tell about our family…
Fear and NOT Talking About Death
“What if people think I’m crazy?” “What if they think I sound ‘woo-woo’ and won’t understand?” “What if no one has had an experience like mine?” “What if it was all in my head?” “What if I’m wrong to feel resentment…relief…anger…happiness…?” “What if I’m getting grief wrong? Doing it wrong?” “What if I’m not ‘recovering’…
“Handling It Well” and Other Lies We Tell
“Handling It Well” I don’t know if it is a universal saying or one particular to the American South, but it is one I hear a lot. When two people have a common acquaintance and that friend has lost a loved one, they often will employ this phrase: “handling it well.” The conversation goes something…
The things people say…
“What DO you say to someone who has just lost a loved one?” This week I had the pleasure of visiting another book club, which consistently yield excellent conversation. Again questions like this came up in conversation with some of the members as well as laments at what people have said to them in times…
Grief and Gratitude
I packed up a student’s belongings yesterday. He was one of our gap year students, meaning he has a high school degree already from his home country and was with us simply for an American experience before heading off to college back home. I pulled his clothes off their hangers, folding them neatly to go…
Prayerful Kitchen 