I have spent the weekend with the marvelous Katerina Whitley at one of her Women Writers Workshops. The location alone inspires the heart at mind, as we gather at the Valle Crucis Conference Center. Then Katerina sparks our imaginations with prompts that get our wheels churning. For this prompt, she had us share a list…
Fear and NOT Talking About Death
“What if people think I’m crazy?” “What if they think I sound ‘woo-woo’ and won’t understand?” “What if no one has had an experience like mine?” “What if it was all in my head?” “What if I’m wrong to feel resentment…relief…anger…happiness…?” “What if I’m getting grief wrong? Doing it wrong?” “What if I’m not ‘recovering’…
Don’t “Should” on Yourself!: The Life You Should Have, The Life You Choose series
My friend Jim had the kind of smile you could warm yourself by. The wrinkles around his eyes testified to the years he spent cultivating joy and expressing it openly. He had an effortless peace to him that put everyone at ease, a good trait since he was an Episcopal priest. When I knew him,…
“Handling It Well” and Other Lies We Tell
“Handling It Well” I don’t know if it is a universal saying or one particular to the American South, but it is one I hear a lot. When two people have a common acquaintance and that friend has lost a loved one, they often will employ this phrase: “handling it well.” The conversation goes something…
Discovering Answers Because of my Kids
In a fit of anger, my son throws his gaming headset on the floor and shatters the plastic connecting the headphones to the bridge that crosses the top of his head. They are irreparable and unusable. He comes in my room, sobbing, telling me they are destroyed then saying what an idiot he is and…
Holidays and Sneaky Grief
Holidays and Sneaky Grief When I was a little girl, our neighbor and bonus grandmother Bernice cooked a huge dinner for her closest friends. For years we attended this dinner and I remember seeing her wearing an old fashioned apron and her classically immovable hair. I thought it was so fancy that she slept on…
Pleasantness and the Post Office
You’ll call me a liar but the most refreshing part of my week was just spent in the post office. That’s saying something considering I also had the first pedicure this week that I’ve had in three months. Tina soaked and scrubbed my feet then painted my toes an appropriate holiday red, bringing me physical…
I can’t wear that!The Life You Choose, Introduction
A granddaughter goes shopping with her grandmother and finds a cute jacket in the junior’s section of the department store. The granddaughter loves the color on her grandmother and knows the grandmother is small enough to fit into the jacket. But the grandmother takes one look at the style and says, “I can’t wear that!”…
The things people say…
“What DO you say to someone who has just lost a loved one?” This week I had the pleasure of visiting another book club, which consistently yield excellent conversation. Again questions like this came up in conversation with some of the members as well as laments at what people have said to them in times…
I am grief.
Every week, our yoga instructor encourages us to consider choosing a focus for our practice, suggesting such things as joy and calm. This morning one word came to mind and insisted on staying: grief. It is my honor to hear people’s experiences with grief as I visit groups and organizations to talk about my book,…
Prayerful Kitchen 