I live on land and in a house filled with ghosts and specters. I sleep in the room in which my great-grandfather drew his last breath and where his children and grandchildren stayed up to sit with his body the night before his funeral. Family legend says he had an argument with the pastor at…
Tag: grief
Not Full of Christmas Cheer
My first year working for a large church in Arlington, Virginia, my husband and I ate Christmas lunch off the rollers at a 7-Eleven. Tradition dictated that the newest priest on staff lead the Christmas morning service and I had started working at the church that November. My first Christmas celebrated outside of my home…
The First Year
Christian communities who follow the church calendar celebrated All Saints Sunday on November 5. On that day they remember loved ones who have died in the past year, sometimes by name during the service, and give thanks for all of the saints who have gone before us. We also step into a series of Sundays…
Tears and strength
I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m sorry I can’t hold my tears. They just seem to come out of me and I have no control over them. I’m sorry. Do you have any tissues? I’m sorry I’m crying. I know I should be over this by now. I’m sorry. Women tend to…
All Will Be Well…And Hell.
During the COVID quarantine, my friend and I read some of Julian of Norwich’s work. My friend had heard the saying, “All shall be well,” but was unaware of its origins. I was more than happy to introduce her to St. Julian, which felt especially fitting during lockdown. Julian of Norwich’s most often quoted text…
For Rosemary
These are the notes for the sermon I preached today at the funeral of a most beloved friend. May we all aspire to embrace a mere fraction of the gusto for living that she had…and not be afraid of making the mistakes that are absolutely inevitable. Rosemary Dodd’s favorite story to tell about our family…
Fear and NOT Talking About Death
“What if people think I’m crazy?” “What if they think I sound ‘woo-woo’ and won’t understand?” “What if no one has had an experience like mine?” “What if it was all in my head?” “What if I’m wrong to feel resentment…relief…anger…happiness…?” “What if I’m getting grief wrong? Doing it wrong?” “What if I’m not ‘recovering’…
“Handling It Well” and Other Lies We Tell
“Handling It Well” I don’t know if it is a universal saying or one particular to the American South, but it is one I hear a lot. When two people have a common acquaintance and that friend has lost a loved one, they often will employ this phrase: “handling it well.” The conversation goes something…
Holidays and Sneaky Grief
Holidays and Sneaky Grief When I was a little girl, our neighbor and bonus grandmother Bernice cooked a huge dinner for her closest friends. For years we attended this dinner and I remember seeing her wearing an old fashioned apron and her classically immovable hair. I thought it was so fancy that she slept on…
The things people say…
“What DO you say to someone who has just lost a loved one?” This week I had the pleasure of visiting another book club, which consistently yield excellent conversation. Again questions like this came up in conversation with some of the members as well as laments at what people have said to them in times…
Prayerful Kitchen 